“That’s the problem that we have, we don’t talk about our lives.”

Challenges faced by transgender men and masculine women in South Africa

Throughout these stories, as well as other interviews conducted with members of the queer/LGBT population of South Africa, I was able to identify several themes of concerns and problems that seem specific to masculine women and/or transgender men. The issues discussed in this section are ones that exist beyond the general lack of medical resources to go through full “gender reassignment,” as those issues will be discussed in the conclusion.  Generally, it seems as though many of these issues are not often seriously discussed or problematized within this population, which Steve spoke to:

“That’s the problem that we have. We don’t talk about our lives. We always talk  about girls. We always talk about booze. We always talk about clubs. I try to tell  them, someday we must talk about family, work, education… When you talk about  [things like] menstruation, they cut out.”

“Everything I did felt like one big act.”

Most participants described feeling forced into the gender identity that would correspond with their birth sex (being forced to be a woman because they were born with “female” anatomy). Most of them said this first happened through their families, in which “there were certain things that were expected as a girl.”  This included to playing with other girls, doing typically feminine chores, and dressing in typically feminine clothing. In an interview with Liesl Theron, Brett Smit, a transman, said, “Everything I did felt like one big act.”  

Participants’ rejection of female gender roles often caused problems within their families; often resulting in long-term unresolved conflicts. In addition to this, negative reactions from family and community members to their childhood expressions of masculinity often made participants feel as though they were inherently ‘bad,’ or doing something wrong, inciting self-loathing that some participants have continued to feel throughout their lives. 

Feeling forced into feminine clothing is a theme that was consistent with everyone that I interviewed. Most South African schools require gender-specific uniforms, something that most participants rebelled against. There seems to be a positive correlation between those who were allowed to wear the uniform they preferred and being more successful at school.

“Butches drink like Hell.”

Alcohol and drug abuse among masculine- and male-identified people was also a recurring theme, and was evident up in my interviews and interactions with transgender men and masculine/male-identified women. Steve said that approximately 90% of the butch women she knows smoke cigarettes, in contrast to an estimated 50% of femme-identified smokers. She also cited alcohol abuse as a major problem:
 “[Butches] drink like Hell. If we go out Friday, we drink, drink ‘til three.  Next  morning, you eat, brush your teeth, [and] drink again. This happens once in a  month for me. But for so many, they drink every day. There are femmes who  drink, but when it comes to butches, they drink more than men!”

Sebastian Matroos, sexual health manager at OUT in Pretoria, also said:

“You see a lot of drinking with masculine identified women … [they] are very  difficult to reach, often harder to reach than the [non-transgender] men.”

Steve attributed this problem to an attempt to adopt societal male gender roles, and said that butch/masculine people may be overcompensating in their desire to be recognized as such:

“You grow up in a house with a dad and a mom. Mom doesn’t do these things.  She cooks, takes care of you. Dad drinks, smokes, all that. I want to do a  duplication of what my dad does. It’s adopting society’s norms.”

“You’re in a culture where aggression is the currency of masculinity.”

In their attempts to “adopt society’s norms” for masculine and male identity, it seems that butch/masculine women and transgender men frequently take on negative qualities that are often associated with manhood. From my observation in conversations with transgender men and masculine women, these included misogynist speech, occasional homophobia toward gay men, and the expression of physical dominance over women.  Domestic violence was referenced as a problem by several participants. Busi Kheswa, who is a lesbian woman from Soweto and who works at the Gay and Lesbian Archives (GALA), spoke to this:

“They not only copy the good, but also the bad. For instance, there have been cases  of violence in lesbian relationships. And you find that the person who is violent is  the butch one, because men beat women in society. So when you copy, you copy  everything.” 

Butch women and pre-transition  transgender men also appear to be at high risk for physical and sexual violence committed against them, said Matroos:

“There’s a lot of violence, there’s been recent stories of lesbians murdered in  townships in Cape Town, and there’s a lot of that brute force that’s associated with  masculinity … If you’re a masculine woman who’s living in a context where  masculinity is asserted by violence and brute force and weapons, you’re at risk  because even if you’re not aggressive, you’re in a culture where aggression is the  currency of masculinity. It puts you in danger. If you go out drinking and you’re  dressed as a man, you act as a man, if someone wants to test your masculinity and  they come up to you with aggressional violence, there’s very real danger there.” 

Several participants also mentioned the phenomenon of ‘corrective rape,’ which comes from a variety of motivations. Often, as in Steve’s case, non-transgender men commit acts of sexual violence against masculine women in order to “teach them a lesson” that they are not biologically male, and so they should not dress or act in a masculine way. Equally troubling is the “virgin cure myth,” which is the notion that HIV/AIDS can be cured if a man engages in intercourse with a virgin woman. It is popular belief that because they are less likely to have had sex with men, lesbian women are therefore “virgins,” and so they are targets for rape by HIV/AIDS-infected men trying to rid themselves of the disease.  Because they are easily identified, butch/masculine women and pre-operative transgender men are at high risk for this, which Ruth Morgan, co-author of Tommy Boys, Lesbian Men, and Ancestral Wives: Female same-sex practices in Africa, spoke to:

“Black masculine identified women are targeted a lot more for rape in South Africa.  That’s not true in other parts of Africa. They’re given a hard time by men, they’re  identified just by the way they look.”

Thus, the fear of rape and sexual assault is a source of stress for many masculine- and male-identified women and transgender men. Anthony Manion, archivist at GALA, said that in the few interviews with transmen that GALA has in its archives, “Personal safety is a big issue. The issue of not feeling safe, of feeling vulnerable.”  He spoke of a post-op transman for whom, even after surgery and hormone therapy, “A source of fear for him was penetrative rape, more so than the transwomen I interviewed.”

“The younger generation is saying, ‘Get over it! We’re all women!”

Several people mentioned feeling separate from the mainstream gay and lesbian movement, or being rejected on some level by lesbian communities because of their masculinity. Liesl Theron said that for transgender men, “It’s easier to come out in front of heterosexuals than it is in front of lesbians.”   When I brought up the issue of feeling rejected by lesbians with a group of several other transmen, many said that it was something they had encountered. Some said that lesbian friends had had the most difficult time adjusting to their transitions, and that some lesbians had seen them as “selling out” to a male identity.

In Zane’s case, although he says he does not have any desire for respect or acceptance from the mainstream gay and lesbian community, his wife has been reluctant to accept and approve of his transition because she is lesbian identified, and is not entirely keen on the idea of being married to a man.  This is clearly difficult for him, as it was a recurring theme throughout our conversations.

Generally, it seems that transgender men are much less visible than transgender women, in that fewer transmen have come out publicly. GenderDynamix has only a handful of FTM members, in comparison to the number of MTF members. Anthony Manion (GALA) commented on this, theorizing that “ it might be that feminism [in South Africa] is still stuck in the ‘70’s, the ‘80s.  It’s perhaps not as nuanced as it is in Europe and the U.S. and Canada, so there’s a lot of emphasis placed on the fact that ‘We’re women, we’re not men.’… so people who are masculine-identified feel less comfortable talking about that.”
  Busi Kheswa said that this phenomenon exists outside of transgender politics, and is also playing a role in lesbian culture. In fact, she says, butch/masculine lesbians are also sometimes written off as “old fashioned”: 

“[Butch lesbian culture] is gonna die. Because … there’s no support. Especially the  older you get, the more .. I mean, I was at a funeral and my friend was  commenting on the young lesbians …‘For older butches to be visible as a butch  lesbian, it doesn’t look good. One knows somehow that the older you get, the  more you change toward invisibility.’ Yeah, so, I feel it’s gonna die. The younger  generation is saying ‘Get over it! We’re all women!’” 

“I’ve got the best of both worlds, so to speak.”

In spite of the challenges that face them, all of the people that I interviewed and researched are proud of who they are.  Many seemed grateful for the unique knowledge they had as people who, to varying degrees, have toed the line between male and female. Though the problem of misogyny is a very real one, particularly amongst transgender men, many FTM-identified men say they are more sensitive to women as a direct result of their own personal histories.  Brett Smit eloquently said:

“I’ve got an advantage over most biological males. I was raised as a girl … getting to  see what the other side is like, even experiencing most of the things that young girls  and young women [experience] – being stared or ogled at, men making rude  comments. It’s given me a better idea of what women don’t like and aren’t  comfortable with. To me, it’s a blessing being transgendered. I’ve got the best of  both worlds, so to speak.”

Robert Hamblin, the leading FTM activist in South Africa was also quoted in the November 2006 issue of Glamour: 

“You wouldn’t believe the world that’s opened up to me as a man. People listen to  me when I complain and I seem to get things done more easily. I also have less fear  – not because I was ever raped or treated badly by a man, but because women live  with a constant fear of the possibility of violence. It’s also strange to be on the other  side of the equation. Women have always protected me, but now I’m seen as a threat  … The most important thing I’ve learned is that we place too much emphasis on  gender. I wish it wasn’t such a pivotal discriminatory factor in our society. And I  should know: I’ve seen the world from both sides!”

The butch/masculine-identified women I interviewed also have a strong sense of pride in their identities, and some believe that without butch/masculine women, lesbianism would not be as visible. Busi Kheswa said,

“I think butch people are strong. Not physical strength, but they are emotionally  strong. Especially in terms of lesbian visibility. Because  people always claim, ‘No, in  my township, there’s no lesbians!’ but as soon as there’s a butch one [it’s  recognized]”

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